It’s a sad state of affairs, but alas a very true one, that when my friends come out of a relationship, the first thing they say is , “Ugh, I can’t believe I need to date again.” I will bet you my life savings that there’s no man that utters these words. That’s because the male dating pool is abysmal. It’s a fact. Sure there are plenty of fish in the sea, but most of them you want to throw back as quickly as possible. Very few are worth throwing into the boat. Now, before you all attack me here, I am not saying EVERY man. There are amazing men out there. But since these words are uttered so often and by so many, you can surmise that they are few and very far between.
The irony of all of this, is that it doesn’t take much to win over a NYC woman. The dating standards are so low that honestly doing a few simple things will make you the most sought after man in town. So with that, I present to you, my surefire and simple dating tips for guys. (They’re so simple you might think everyone does them. You’d be wrong.) You’ll get women to want to go out with you, repeatedly and bore their friends to tears about how awesome you are. Take note gents. You can thank me later.
1) Take initiative: Whether you meet someone online or in person, be the man and take the lead. Text, or if you really want to create shock and awe — call — and ask her out. Don’t wait days or weeks. Don’t spend hours texting or emailing. Cut to the chase and set a date. In person. For beverages. This way if you like her it can turn into dinner. If not, you’re out of there in under an hour. But at least you didn’t waste weeks in the process.
2) Pay her a compliment: It seems obvious and yet I have dated men for weeks who’ve never given me a compliment. Clearly they were interested because they kept asking me out, and clearly they were attracted to me, but they never said something as simple as “You look nice tonight,” or “I love that dress.” It doesn’t need to be a sonnet, just say something nice, and of course, mean it. A little sugar goes a long way.
3) Follow up: Regardless if you want to see her again, for the love of all things holy, don’t just disappear. Be an adult (bear with me here) and send a text THE NEXT DAY either saying how you had fun and would love to do it again, or how you had a nice time but you don’t think you’re a match. That’s it. It’s so simple even you can do it. I promise. And even if she’s disappointed, she’ll respect you for respecting her.
4) Take the lead: Yes, I’m a feminist, but in dating, I still think having some set of gender roles is helpful and necessary. So when you’re asking her out, you pick the location. It’s ok to ask her what she likes or doesn’t like, but nothing is a bigger turn-off than when a guy says “What do you want to do?” You show her you know how to make plans and do just that. She shouldn’t have to worry about anything but picking out her outfit and having a good time. And of course, deciding if she likes you. This will help.
5) Be interested: We all know men like to talk about themselves, but a date is like a fact-finding mission. How will you know you like her if you don’t ask her about herself? This doesn’t mean get ready for the Spanish Inquisition, but at least pepper your conversation with questions for her. When a man takes an interest in a woman, it’s noticed and believe me, she’ll show her gratitude in a variety of ways over time.
I guarantee that if you employ these tactics you’ll be inundated with amazing women who all want to spend time with you, because, well, no one else is doing it. Oh, and if you want to try these tactics out on me, I’m game.