If you follow me on Facebook, you’ll already be familiar with this phrase which I coined months ago. (Yes coined. Don’t even think about ripping off my genius people. I googled it and I own this shit. K, thanks.)
Any hoo, for those of you new to my crazy dating world or if you haven’t dated in the past 10 years, this expression is my way of symbolizing all that’s wrong with online dating. All foreplay, no intercourse. In other words, men who are unable to get it up to ask you out beyond emailing or texting, resulting in no date, no meet and ahem, no nookie (which is the whole point, right?). If I had a nickel for every guy who never called or asked me out after interacting and indicating as such, I’d, well, I’d have a lot of money to buy shoes.
I’ve tried them all: Match.com, OkCupid, Tinder, Hinge, How About We?, the list goes on. And whether you pay for the service or it’s free, the dating pool and the interactions seem to be the same. I realize there are exceptions and I have many friends who’ve met their spouses online, but I’m talking majority not minority. It boggles my mind why someone would waste their time initiating contact, emailing or texting back and forth and then when you give them your digits it’s radio silence.
There could be several reasons for this:
1) They’re married
2) They’re chatting with many women at once
3) They’re douchebags
4) They’re egomaniacs or suffer from severe inadequacy
5) See #s 1-4
I don’t know about you, but I barely have time to make my bed, let alone waste it chatting with endless men to stroke my ego. I don’t need other people to make me feel good about myself. And since the point of online dating is to meet someone and get off online dating, this seems like a hamster wheel of misery.
Whatever happened to the art of the woo? Where you met someone and pursued them — and only them? I am not old fashioned by any means, but in the world of dating I still believe the man should take the lead (only until there’s a basis for a relationship).
Men are the hunters. They’ve stopped hunting. I am not absolving women here, but without pursuit, what are you left with? Random hookups? Casual encounters? Millions of adults who can’t or won’t commit and realize in their 40’s or 50’s that it might be too late?
So I go out there every day looking for the one person who understands effort. Who’ll realize I’m worth it and is willing to focus on one person rather than a dozen aimless texts that lead nowhere. Cause I kind of want to have nookie with someone I care about. I like nookie.